Anthony Mason
Mason turned his scalp into a Times Square ad, shaving “KNICKS” into the fade. Grown men shouldn’t have jersey names carved above the neckline—especially when the barber spells it in Comic Sans
Chris “Birdman” Andersen
A neon-blonde faux-hawk that rose like a cresting wave and flopped like a broken umbrella. From Denver to Miami, the mohawk grew into a nest that even actual birds refused to rent
Scot Pollard
Pollard’s pony-tail mohawk + bleached tips looked like E.T.’s satellite dish. One haircut, two messages: “Take me to your leader” and “My barber hates me”
Ron Artest (Metta World Peace)
Blond Caesar with “DEFENSE” shaved in Hebrew, Hindi, and Japanese—because nothing screams lock-down like a multilingual scalp billboard
Chris Kaman
Unkempt, stringy, and parted like Moses splitting the Red Sea. Kaman’s hair seemed to have its own gravitational pull—and its own passport from a remote Carpathian village
Drew Gooden
Braided bangs framing the face + a lone, greasy rat-tail in back. Looked like he lost a bet with a colonial-era blacksmith and just kept the penalty
Joakim Noah
A sloppy top-knot that bounced like a dirty tennis ball whenever he sprinted. Half samurai, half “I woke up like this… since 2009”
Anderson Varejao
A frizzy, orange afro that flopped like a defective mop head. Opponents weren’t sure whether to box him out or offer him a conditioner sponsorship
Darko Milicic
Bleached tips, spiked front, and the overall vibe of a Backstreet Boy left in the dryer too long. The haircut screamed “draft bust” louder than his box score ever did
Dennis Rodman
Rainbow mohawks, leopard spots, blond spikes, and whatever neon felt tip he grabbed that morning. Rodman didn’t push fashion boundaries—he set them on fire and danced on the ashes